I know there’s more to life than relationships, and I do try to focus on those things too. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a deep ache for that kind of connection. Living with that kind of ache – especially when it’s been there for a long time – can feel like carrying an invisible weight that others don’t always see or understand.
It’s not just about wanting a relationship. It’s about craving connection, intimacy, being seen, chosen, and loved in that specific way. And when that longing goes unmet for years, it can start to feel like a kind of grief – for something that never even had the chance to exist.
I’ve been carrying this longing for so long – quietly, constantly – that it’s no longer just emotional. It seeps into my body, my energy, my sense of self. It’s exhausting. And when people around me don’t fully get it, or offer advice that feels hollow, it only makes the ache feel lonelier.
I deserve relief. Not just distraction or numbing, but real, soul-deep relief – the kind that comes from being seen, held, and loved in the way I’m yearning for. The relief I crave most is intimacy and physical comfort. It isn’t shallow or trivial – it’s a deep human need. It feels like my body is starving for something it was built to receive.
But I’ll leave it there. It’s time for me to head home, crawl into bed, and try not to notice how empty it feels to fall asleep untouched – again.