Losing someone I loved is already a heavy burden, and when efforts to rebuild fall flat, it feels like the universe is indifferent – leaving me to navigate without a map. This led me to question whether life follows a grand design or is simply a series of unpredictable events.

Ecclesiastes 9, with its emphasis on time and chance, presents a stark view of life’s uncertainty. I found an interesting parallel between factorials and Solomon’s reflections. Factorials show how possibilities multiply rapidly – starting simple but expanding into staggering complexity. Similarly, time and chance create an uncontrollable web of events, much like the exponential growth seen in factorials.

This realization ultimately led me to embrace humanism, which values reason, ethics, and human potential over divine influence. Humanism doesn’t necessarily reject Christianity outright, but rather shifts the focus while leaving room for personal interpretations of divinity. Wanting to put humanist principles into action, I chose to become an organ donor – a meaningful step toward living out that philosophy.

Moving forward after loss takes immense effort, and when things refuse to fall into place, hope can feel like it’s slipping away. The struggle weighs on me. Feeling stuck is one of the hardest emotions to endure, especially when I’m trying and getting nowhere. But hopefully, stagnation isn’t the end of the story – just a frustrating chapter.